Verizon Heritage

Business-like Brian

Date Written: April 20, 2009

Brian Gay is 5' 10". Tim Wilkinson, his playing partner in the last round this week, tops out at 5' 7''...on a good day. Luke Donald and Briny Baird, who eventually finished T-2, are 5' 10" and 5' 11. None of them weighs more than 170 lbs. or have forearms that would remind you of Popeye, John Henry or J.B. Holmes.

So let's raise our glasses and toast normal-sized guys. They played the big bombers to a standstill on the short (less than 7,000 yards) Harbour Town course. What a unique concept...having to hit it straight...not getting to bomb it over every dogleg.

I loved watching this tournament, because I'm an older short-knocker who hits it mostly straight. Tight fairways, smallish greens, shortsided pin placements, and a gazillion trees. Trees...did I say trees? There are one or two giant carnivorous things that overhang every fairway at every dogleg and eat golfballs that are slightly off line. My kind of course...maybe.

It was amazing to watch Brian Gay go about his business this week. Man was he thorough....like a neuro-surgeon navigating our nerveways. He just quietly excelled at every aspect of the game, demolishing the field by an astounding ten strokes with his combination of straight driving, lights-out putting. and an over 90% scramble factor. His victory was the first double-digit triumph on the PGA TOUR since Phil Mickelson won the 2006 BellSouth Classic by 13 shots.

The most remarkable stats: Gay is 178th on tour in driving length and 4th in driving accuracy. It is surely an overstatement that his skills matched up perfectly with the venue. For further "stat" evidence of Gay's superiorty, click on the link below for an analysis from the PGATour website:

http://www.pga.com/2009/instruction/features/04/19/weaver_verizon_heritage/index.html

Mizuno and Sligo (who's clothes are obviously designed by someone in love with sherbet colors), certainly got their money's worth with Gay's "face time" this week. If I were his agent, I'd opt for a more traditional clothing deal.

"The Big Easy Open" is on tap for this coming week. Six of youse like Andres Romero and four think "Woodhead" Austin will prevail. Otherwise, there's a bunch of No-Shows (NS).

The Masters

Say You, Say Me

Date Written: April 13, 2009

Said Mickelson: "It was fun."

Said Woods: "It was terrible."

Said "Bones" Mackay (Phil's caddy): "This was the most fun I've ever had on a golf course. It was very, very cool."

Said Stevie Williams (Tiger's caddy): "I wouldn't call Mickelson a great player because I hate the . . . ."

Said Kenny Perry: "I'll be OK. Great players get it done, Angel got it done."

Said Angel Cabrera: "I do what I do." (Huh?).

Said Chad Campbell: "I kind of blew it myself."



Say you.....?

Say Me: In the spirit of "Less is More;" I am going to refrain from Masters redundancy. Suffice to say it was magnificent TV. I watched it on TIVO today (Monday), already knowing the results, of course, and it was still terrific. I was busy over the weekend slashing it around Clear Lakes Country Club in lovely Downtown Buhl, Idaho. It weren't no Augusta National or Pebble Beach but it was still fun. Young Jeff Wong knows Buhl. Jeff and I were The Odd Couple When he was living in Idaho and we had a blast playing together.

Eleven of us had Lefty who finished a solo fifth. But for the twelve hole's "sawed-off 9-iron" that he chunked and a couple of missed putts on 15 and 17, he could have easily won his third green jacket. Might have scored about 62 which would have broken the scoring record in any Major

Pool-wise, it was kind of a wash in the first, double-money Major of the year. Our current leader, Tobacco Road, (along with Harry of Miltenberger, and John Flynt), blew their Tiger bullet for the year for a lousy 485K.

Boo or Badds are the consensus picks on the tight little track called Harbour Town Golf Links at Hilton Head this week.

Shell Houston Open

Bogies are Good


Date Written: April 7, 2009

Question: When is "bogey" a good score? Answer: When the Tour is playing in Texas in April, the wind is gusting to thirty five MPH, every round is delayed by weather, and the finishing hole's a bitch. Paul Casey bogies the dreaded eighteenth twice in a row and wins.

Tobacco Road cracks the $3 Mil. mark in our funky pool with his blind-ass pick of J.B. Holmes. But Master Holmes doesn't make it easy for Tobacco. He makes a 14-foot par putt on the dreaded eighteenth to post a score. Then he has to wait nearly three hours to see if anyone can catch him. Luckily for us "also-rans," Casey's bogey on the last hole in regulation was enough to guarantee a playoff. Then J.B. rinses his tee ball on the first playoff hole (the eighteenth, of course) and Casey just needs bogey again to prevail for his first-ever, PGA Tour win. His bogies saves us other pool-players about half-a-million that Holmes/Tobacco could have earned if Holmes, had listened to his own advice and played safe on eighteen.

For those that missed the tournament, eighteen at Redstone's a brutal, long par four over water from tee to green that played to a 5.103 average during the fourth round. There were more double bogies on eighteen on the last day than there were pars. And as if eighteen weren't tough enough, I counted seven professionals who shot 80 or more on the last round. Local favorite, "Boom Boom" Couples bogeyed the last 3 holes to finish two back and cause Corn Beef Taco some major heartburn.

If "Lefty" thought Houston was going to be a good tune-up for The Masters he was mistaken. 77, 76 allowed him to catch an early flight to Augusta. Eleven of us have him to win this coming week. Let's hope he finds a swing for the first of our "Double Money Majors."

Arnold Palmer

He's Baaack

Date Written: March 30, 2009

It was just like old times yesterday. Tiger in the last foursome, so totally focused that it didn't seem to matter who he was playing against.

One could sense from the start that a five shot lead was not going to be enough for his latest victim, young Sean O’Hair. If one were looking for a sign early-on in the match, Master Sean left a few first putts, frighteningly short. Everyone in the gallery must have sensed his nervousness. A stunning graphic statistic was uncovered by an astute underling on the TV staff: of the eighty-odd times that Tiger’s played with the lead in the last foursome, he’s beaten his opponent straight-up, about seventy times. So...playing head-to-head against Tiger, (aka GOD), is not a good thing. But don’t feel too bad for Sean...he's in some good company. There’s a long list of better-known players who have thought they were up to the task.

Johnny Miller reminded us near the end of the thrashing that Tiger’s not only the best ball striker and hardest worker on the planet, he’s the best pressure putter too. Johnny also noted the difference between a champion and a challenger, "He's like the sun and you're like butter." Yes indeed...Tiger's six less putts over the last round would add up perfectly for the difference in the match.

I could only feel for fellow pool players, Perry Sato, Scott Winegar and Charlie Tuna. They had Sean picked for the week and they were looking pretty good with his lead. Fast-forward to the 72nd hole. I can imagine those three guys, in the prone position, peering at their TV’s from under their respective coffee tables as Tiger was contemplating that last putt on eighteen. The bad news was Tiger’s putt cost them about 400 G's...the difference between first and second. The good news was that the boys banked $680,000 for Sean's second place finish. One of our rookie players, Charlie Tuna,(who must think this game is easy), vaults into the money lead heading into the first of the double-money Majors at Augusta in two weeks.

If indeed, that "metaphor is everything," (and God knows, golf is filled with metaphor), I found a very clever and funny little book entitled, “Sum: Forty Tales From the Afterlives.” The Author, David Eagleman, is a neuro-scientist who teaches at Baylor Medical College in Houston. The book is a collection of his unexpected tales of afterlives that we have probably never considered. I’m gonna find his email address and offer to write a story for his next edition about playing endless golf in my next life in God’s foursome. Wouldn’t it be fun to think that when we go to our final resting place….Pebble, Pinehurst, Augusta....in the sky….and we find out that God,(picture Tiger in a long, flowing, red satin robe), has finally broken through to a single digit handicap and he can’t seem to play enough. More importantly, he tells St. Peter to give any golfnuts like us a free pass to join him in his Universal Foursome. We get to play all the famous courses whenever we want…at no expense, of course. I’ve heard there are some great tracks in the Alpha Omega Star System. Forget the idea of a soul, hell, purgatory, etc…let’s just play...for ever!

On to Houston for the warm-up to Augusta. Seven of us like Chad, of Campbell Soup fame.

Think Tiger needs any more practice for the Majors? Only Tobacco Road, Harry of Miltenberger and John Flynt thought to pick Tiger at Augusta. The rest of us probably over-thought his recovery from surgery and guessed he wouldn’t be fit by April. Now we are in double (money) trouble.

Transitions

Copperhead Credit
Date Written: March 23, 2009

You might have thought that Retief Goosen won this week at the Transitions. But I think the golf course itself was the winner. For those of us who thought Florida is as flat as a pancake, we've gotta re-think. The terrain at the Copperhead course at the Innisbrook Resort features up to 70 feet of elevation change. We should genuflect to the genius who picked out this site. Smart course architecture, small, subtle, super-fast, 13-stimp greens, tucked pins, narrow fairways, lots of varied trees, plenty of water and gnarly, sticky rough...a tasty recipe for a great potential venue for a US Open. Even though one doesn't get the true feeling of height, depth and slope watching television, it was fun to see "par" be a good score and to see the BIG BOYS struggle down the home stretch. There must have been 10 guys within two strokes on the last day, most guarding against a big number coming down the stretch. For those stat freaks, the cumulative scoring average for the week was 72.157 on the par-71 layout.

From the ESPN website:

"Retief Goosen made an amazing 55-of-55 on putts 5 feet or less for the week on greens he likened to the sinister surfaces he overcame at a place called Shinnecock Hills -- where he won the 2004 U.S. Open."

From John Maginnes of the PGATour website:

"If you think that the Copperhead course is just another Florida course, think again. It is atypical in every respect. Unlike most courses in the Sunshine State that wind their way through the flat peninsula, Innisbrook sits on a rare and special strip of land. Although it has all the elements of a typical Florida course -- wind, water and sand -- this layout features dramatic elevation changes. From the first hole, a downhill par 5, to the 18th, a sweeping, uphill par 4, every shot possesses its own unique challenge. Many of the holes feature elevated, well-protected greens that are a challenge to hit from the fairway and nearly impossible to hit from the rough."

Goosen apparently ditched his recent experiment with a belly putter just in time and went back to his old, YES! putter. If he keeps his stroke, he's a contender at The Master's in two weeks.

On the flipside of the planet, A Thai-guy named Chapchai Nirat, set what is believed to be the lowest 72-hole score in any tournament ever in this week's Asian Tour event in New Delhi, going 32-under to win by 11 shots. I don't care if you are playing Twin Falls Muni, making birdie on nearly half the holes, is something. You might add "Chap's" name to the list of "wannabe's" to watch on the PGA Tour next year...his dream is to play here.

The best any of us could do in the pool was a mere pittance...T-19 by Kevin Sutherland which allowed Rory "The Dawg" Mitchell to get out of the Dawg House. Otherwise, the course beat us all up. I can't remember there being so many Missed Cuts. Most of our consensus choice's; Senden, O'Hair, and Snoteker (I had him), didn't play back to their past performance. So much for form.

Onward to Arnold's Gig at Bay Hill in Orlando. Tiger's in the field, trying to sharpen his teeth for Augusta.

In deference to the Florida swing, I featured this week's image entitled, "Okefenokee Municipal Golf Course" by an illustrator named Loyal H. Chapman. When you are on his website, you can click on his images to enlarge them and get an idea of his illustrative skill, imagination and playfulness:

http://www.infamousgolfholes.com/OrderPosterPrints.htm

WGC/CA

Rush to Judgement

Date Written: March 16, 2009
Four chip-ins and forty two putts through the first two rounds ought to assure anyone of a win. Add in the fact that "Phil the Thrill" was driving the ball better and his short game was working well, it's no wonder he would win at Doral. Yet, in the end, he still had his hands full with "The Fresno Bulldog," Nick Watney, winning by only a single shot this week. "Fresno" weren't no slouch either. He proved his mettle earlier in the year by coming from five shots back in the last round to win The Buick Invite at Torrey Pines. Except for two shitty bunker shots and a bogey on a closing par five with a four-iron in-hand for his second shot, he could have cashed the winner's check. But alas, Lefty prevailed, despite the Bulldog's tenacity.

Lefty also wins two other subordinate awards for the week: "The Coast-To-Coast Grass Award:" for winning on Kikuyu/Poa Anna at Riviera in L.A. in mid-February and then on Bermuda at Doral this week. He also wins, "The Gut Check Award," for having to endure the stomach flu. Way to tough it out, Phil.

Jim "The Twitch" Furyk, mastered his stuttering putter routine and fired a nifty 31 on the last nine holes to garner a solo 3rd spot which allowed The Muffins to inch over Tobacco Road into first place in our funky pool. Glenn Marzion and Scott Winegar also had Furyk. Four others had Camilo (T-5 ) for a nice bit of gelt.

To quote Shakespeare (of literary, not graphite fame), "What's in a name?" Peppered at the top of the final leader board at Doral were names which we are not familiar: Jeev, Aiken, Wilson, Kjeldsen, Marksaeng, Quiros, Oosthuizen...and of course, "THE WUNDERKID," Rory McIlroy. There's no question that golf is global. And in the spirit of the acceptance of diversity, have you wondered why I de-faced the picture of Rush Limbaugh for this week's lead image? First off, because, all at once, I'm jealous, amazed and discouraged that his audience is so huge. And second of all, because I've been reading this giant book about Albert Speer; Hitler's architect and Minister of Armaments and War Production. Mr. Speer's defense at the WWII trials at Nuremburg was his disclaimer that he was so busy planning and building for The Third Reich and that he didn't know his boss, Adolph Hitler, was gassing millions or planning to conquer Europe. Talk about myopia. If there's a lesson to be learned from history, all of us must be vigilant and pay attention to those who take it upon themselves to foist their agenda/propaganda on us.

Mr. Limbaugh not only plays a lousy game of golf, he plays a lousy game of citizenship. His public wish to have our brand new President "fail" is scary and falls into the category of demagoguery. It's one thing to disagree with policy, quite another to express ill-will for our country. If Rush is "the best voice" that my Republican golfing friends have to offer, they might be inching closer to extinction...IF the electorate is paying attention. I know, I know...you're probably thinking it's bad form to mix politics with fun. But the mission of this-here blog has always been to try to weave related social metaphors into the game we love.

On a lighter note, a funny forward from my favorite golf cartoonist, Roy Doty, which should help us seniors manage our "going" problem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TvwhB_2-vs&feature=player_embedded

Honda Classic

The Incredible Shrinking Man

Date Written: March 9, 2009

From the Champions Tour website:

Jim Colbert, who turns 68 on Monday, hobbled through a five-under-par 66 Friday in the first round of the Toshiba Classic at the Newport Beach Country Club.

Give Colbert his due. Shooting one's age is a feat all of us geezers yearn to accomplish. But in a post-round interview, Jim offered the following statement which might qualify for inclusion in my next book, "Athletes Say the Dumbest Things:" Colbert said, "I'm nearly three inches shorter than I once was thanks to three knee surgeries."

WHAT? Does Jim suggest that we are all destined to "shrink" to the dwarf-like size of Billy Barty? That's Billy in the doctored "Miss Vicki" photo above. Who is he you ask? Click on the following link below to tweak your memory:

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy Barty)

Years ago I saw Billy play in the pro-am part of the LA Open and I was amazed at his golfing skills. He had the tiniest little clubs and bag, didn't hit it very far, but he could clearly play and enjoyed himself as any actor would in front of a big audience.

But back to the point at hand. I never knew that our "shrinkage" can be jumpstarted from joint surgeries. I've had four knee operations over the course of my lifetime, plus a knee and hip replaced. My driver's license says I'm 5'7". Does this mean that I'm really only 5'2"? This might explain a whole lot more than my lack of athletic talent. In my shopping dreams, I've always wanted to be able to buy pants off-the-shelf. Most pants come with inseams at 32 inches and I always end up paying extra for them to be tailored to my short-waisted dimensions. Just the other day, I paid $20.00 each to alter three pair of cheap pants. Anyone out there know of a surgical procedue to get to my dream height of 6'2"? In the meantime, should I consider buying shorter clubs? At the very least, I'm seriously thinking of re-gripping about half-way down the shaft and "choking-up" a bit, ala A.K. or Briny B. in order to make better contact. I can't wait 'til the snow melts to try out all the possibilities for my new "real" stature.

In our trusty pool, three players had a chance on the last day of The Honda with Robert Allenby near the lead. Alas and alack, Allenby disappointed with a T-5 showing but still allowed The Muffins to slip into second place. Nearly unknown, Y. E. Yang, held on to win his first ever, PGA event. For those that care, he qualified for the BIG SHOW at Q-School. Very impressive! Might we have witnessed the next, great, male Korean golfer to join K.J. "The Tank" Choi in the top tier of worldwide players? Personally, in my next life, I want to be reincarnated as a young, Korean woman golfer. In case you hadn't noticed, they "populate" the LPGA leader board every week. What's in their diet over there?

Overshadowing The Honda tournament was the prospect of Tiger deciding to appear at Doral this coming week in the WGC/CA Championship. Woods has not finished out of the top 10 in his six appearances at Doral. He won for three straight years (2005-07), the last victory when it became a World Golf Championships event. Naturally, none of us could have forseen his return this early in the year. He's obviously the odds-on favorite to win on The Blue Monster. Four of us have Villegas, four have picked Match Play champ, Geoff Ogilvy, and three of us have "The Goose." NO no-shows this week, which says something about our collective wisdom.

WGC Match Play

Date Written: March 2, 2009

The Iceman Cometh

Four pool players (Tobacco Road, Charlie Tuna, The Muffins and Bill Sundali) were omniscient this past week, garnering the first "golden" first place spots of the year with their pick of G. (Not JOE) Ogilvy in the Match Play. Don't be counting your chickens yet though kiddies...past performance tells us that early pool leads have a tendency to disappear.

Three other pool sharks, Glenn Marzian, Harry Miltenberger and Scott "Oil & Winegar" had the extreme good fortune of watching Stewart Cink splash a bunker shot into the cup on his final hole to add about a "hundert" to their third place total with a win over Ross Fisher.


From the Associated Press
March 2, 2009

"Geoff Ogilvy won the Accenture Match Play Championship for the second time in four years with a 4-and-3 victory over Paul Casey of England to stake his claim Sunday as the best in the world at match play.In a relentless performance at Dove Mountain in Marana, Ariz., the 31-year-old Australian did not trail over the final 63 holes of the tournament and did not have a bogey on his card over the last 57 holes."

Some observations from this perch:

(1) During the last four years, Ogilvy has made the finals of the Match Play THREE times on THREE different golf courses.

(2) Paul Casey could not overcome a slow start and appeared to be no match for Ogilvy's "Iceman" demeanor.

(3) In his first two rounds this week, Ogilvy had to go to the nineteenth hole to advance; first against Kevin Sutherland and then "Cowboy" Katayama. It is oftentimes said that the winner of college basketball's championship, "March Madness," has to have a tight game or two to survive through the brackets.

(4) Did anybody count the number of putts that each player had over the last 36-holes? Geoff looked like he made every putt he needed to make and Casey struggled early with the flat stick.

Another news tidbit:
BY GolfChannel.com Team

Luke Donald may be able to play in next week's Honda Classic, an event he won in 2006, according to a statement released by IMG Golf. Donald, 1 down at the time, conceded his match Friday to Ernie Els on the 18th hole during the third round of the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship.

Donald had aggravated the same wrist he had surgery on last year, which he originally injured during the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines. "Luke was examined last night by the same doctor who performed the surgery on his left wrist last August and was told that the discomfort he felt yesterday was limited to the scar tissue, and not the tendon he injured at the 2008 U.S. Open," said the statement. "It was Dr. Weiland's opinion that with treatment by anti-inflammatory medication, Luke could resume practicing in the next few days and could potentially play in next week's Honda Classic."

Donald played only one event in 2008 after the U.S. Open, but had started strongly in 2009 with back-to-back top-10s entering the Match Play.

Another observation: It isn't often that you see a player default, especially on the eighteenth tee, in match play. Advice from an aging, surgical survivor...whether it's a tendon or scar tissue, take a break, Luke. Let your wrist heal. Mother Nature oftentimes knows best. I offer this bit of advice despite having picked (along with four others) Lukey to win this week at The Honda.

The Tour segues to Florida (and Puerto Rico) for the next month. All those who can putt on Bermuda take one step forward. The next, BIG question...will El Tigre show up at Doral?

And finally, from the Golf Channel, who featured endless commercials for the show featuring the re-make of Charles Barkley's swing:

"Hank Haney, the world’s top golf instructor, is about to meet the biggest challenge of his career: Charles Barkley. The 11-time, All-Star basketball Hall-of-Famer is an NBA MVP and Olympic gold medalist—with one of the most unusual swings on the planet.

Tune in every Monday as Haney’s world-renowned teaching method meets Barkley’s monster swing and legendary charm.

Will Hank’s knowledge and experience be enough to fix Sir Charles’s game, or will the hoopster become his only unconquerable challenge? Find out Mondays at 9 p.m. ET only on Golf Channel."

Northern Trust Open

Date Written: February 24, 2009

Who Are These Guys?

If you can name the golfer's in this picture, you've got to be nearly as old as I am...68.
My answers/guesses are given below.

NEWS BULLETIN! Riviera, formerly known as "Hogan's Alley," has been renamed...it's now known as "Mickelson's Mile." If not for a slip up a couple of years ago on the last hole, "Lefty" would have won the last THREE L.A. Opens. It don't matter that his driver misbehaves. Just put it upside down in your bag, whip out your three metal, keep it in play, and make sure you sink the pressure putts. Voila! Victory!

In the traveling soap opera that is tour golf, there was a story that cried out like the tabloids this week. Sure, Freddy up and shanked one in the trees on eighteen. But how about his estranged wife passing away earlier in the week? What a shock. I was surprised he played at all. To quote an ESPN article:

Couples learned earlier in the week that his estranged wife, Thais Baker, died Tuesday of breast cancer. They never divorced after splitting up nearly four years ago, and Couples said he is not welcome in their home in Santa Barbara. 'She was a nice person,' he said. 'She did everything she could to make it another month.'

If one were to take each sentence in the paragraph above and try and explain what was going on in their relationship, one would have to guess that so much was unsaid.

John Manocheo, Doc 'N Jill and Glenn Marzion made a nice move up the pool standings by their astute, T-3, K.J. Choi pick in the LA Open. Five others added some significant dough with their T-6 for recent, wrist re-habbed, Luke Donald. Jan Jones crawled over Tobacco Road back into first place with a T-6 pick of "Crasher" Holmes.

Did you notice on the other side of the world (Perth, Australia), that Danny Lee, the reigning US Amateur Champ, won the professional "Johnny Walker Classic" on the European Tour. Lee's got an invitation to the Masters and then he's turning pro. Move over Ryo and Rory. Click on the link below to read more about Danny Lee:

http://www.pgatour.com/2009/r/02/22/johnnie.walker.ap/index.html

Finally, for anyone who's been on an intergalactic trip over the last week, Tiger announced that he will return to competition in the WGC Match Play. Get your TIVO'S oiled up and pre-set for Wednesday when he faces Brendan Jones in a first round match. From Mike McAllister, Managing Editor of PGATOUR.COM:
There's the knee. There's the rust from his layoff. There's the unpredictability of match play. All are ways that Tiger could lose. But he wouldn't come back if he didn't think he could win. Time for another storybook finish.

It'll be fun to see if Tiger's fit enough and see if he's altered his overwhelmingly physical swing to match the stress on his left leg.

Answer to who's in the picture above: Left to right: Dean Martin, Jackie Burke, Ben Hogan, Jerry Lewis, Byron Nelson, Sam Snead and Julius Boros. Am I right or wrong?

A T & T

A Win is a Win

Date Written: February 16, 2009
PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. (AP) -- Dustin Johnson has won the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am without having to hit a shot over the last two days when rain washed out the final round Monday.

Johnson built a four-shot lead Saturday with a 67 at Poppy Hills. The final round was suspended Sunday because of wind and rain, and officials called the tournament when they found greens under water and a hopeless forecast.

The 24-year-old Johnson joins Anthony Kim as the only players under 25 with two PGA Tour victories. This one comes at a good time, for he moves into the top 50 in the world and qualifies for the Accenture Match Play Championship next week, along with the first two majors.

Yeah...and Mother Nature wrecked my plans for some good Monday television. Damn!

Tobacco Road takes a giant leap into first place in the pool with a big check garnered by his astute pick of the "Little Lefty," Mike Weir. A ton of you blew your V.J. bullet for the year with an MC here. How were you to know that the man voted most diligent range-rat of all time, is starting to feel the effects of working too hard? First Tiger, now V.J...laid low by moving parts that are wearing out. It's kind of comforting, (in a sick way) to know that they are mortal...just like us fellow alumni of Titanium U.

A funny "Dear Abby" forward from fellow pool player, John Manocheo:

Dear Abby: I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: phone rings, I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them. I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth.

Last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view when she arrived home from her night out with 'the girls.' When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she then proceeded to take her panties out of her purse and slipped them back on.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Finally, in my dreams, before I go on the waiting list at the vast links course in the sky, I want to play Pebble just one time...for free, of course.

Buick Invitational

Uh Oh

Date Written: February 9, 2009

One could make the case that either John Rollins' wheels fell off down the stretch at the Buick Invitational or that Nick Watney's late charge won the day. Watney, who never led until the 72nd hole, trailed Rollins by five shots. He trailed by four shots with 11 holes to play and by three with five holes left. Rollins' collapse surely wasn't a "Van de Velde," but the juxtaposition of the two players made it look eerily similar.

I can't summarize the results from the Buick Invitational any better than the Associated Press (AP), so I'll just quote 'em below:

SAN DIEGO (AP) -- Nick Watney appeared to be along for the ride Sunday until making two birdies over the final three holes to take advantage of a late collapse by John Rollins and win the Buick Invitational.
Watney knocked in a 40-foot birdie putt from the fringe on the par-3 16th, then completed his five-shot rally with a two-putt birdie on the 18th hole to close with a 4-under 68 for his second career victory, earning a trip to the Masters.
Rollins let this one get away.
He had a three-shot lead with five holes to play until making a bogey with a poor chip on the 14th, another bogey from a plugged lie in the bunker on the 16th, and failing to hit the green on the par-5 18th, leading to a par. He closed with a 74.

Best finish of the week in our trusty pool was posted by The Donald who picked Hunter Mahan (T-11). Mahan was 2 shots better than a pack of us who thought Ryuchi Imada (T-19) was ready to play back to last year's 2nd place finish. Doc 'N Jill and Charlie Tuna blew their Mickelson bullet on his home course where he's won three times. Lefty couldn't find his game. I saw him 4-whack on one hole Sunday. He never does that. Watney, by the way, never three-putted during the week.

No-Show-of-the-Week Award goes to Stewart Cink who disappointed seven pool players by skipping the event. Stewie ain't no dummy. He's also skipping this weeks AT&T which now features such stellar-less players such as, John Ellis, Zach Miller, Joel Sjoholm, Jason Schmuhl (not exactly household names) and a bunch of amateur hackers with fat wallets. Can you tell I don't like this part of the season? I just can't wait for the PGA caravan to stop at the oasis called, "Riviera" next week, where men are men and the duffers are relegated to the gallery where they truly belong.

Fashion follow-up: Last week's column featured a spiel about Ryan Moore's fashion choices. According to an article on the PGA Tour website, those fashion choices are his by design. Right now, he doesn't have or want any endorsement deals for equipment and clothing. If this is truly the case, he is not only an iconoclast but a renaissance man. It's a pleasure watching someone who is not a typical, walking corporate billboard. You can read Moore (no pun intended) about the logo-less man by holding your control button and clicking on the PGA Tour link below:

http://www.pgatour.com/2009/tournaments/r003/01/30/moore.feature/index.html?eref=sitesearch

Charlie Woods was bornded on Sunday. Now that Watney's in-the-chips, do you think he ought to send Charlie a giant birthday present cuz his dad stayed home?

Last thought: I wonder if "Charlie" Woods was named for "Charlie" Sifford?

Final last thought: Eight of youse are pick'n Veej this week. Buenos Suerte!

FBR Open

Fashion, Foolery or Function

Date Written: February 2, 2009

Are you old enough to remember metal spikes on your golf shoes? The Golf Course Superintendents of America (GCSAA) must be howling this week. For years, they lobbied the world to commit to dippy "Softspikes," making the agronomical argument that greens would heal faster by wearing these plastic thingy's (which are forever falling off my golf shoes).

Here now comes their new "fave," Ryan Moore. Moore was spotted playing in VAN'S! WHAT? You all remember those thick-soled, funky, canvas skateboard shoes that were popular in the '70's? There's NOT a "cleat" on 'em. I wonder what Ryan's thinkin? They certainly can't afford him traction. Then again, maybe that's the point. Maybe Moore thinks that slicked-soled shoes will keep him swinging "within his feet;" a premise fostered eons ago by Sam Snead who sometimes played barefoot to re-establish his balance. Are we ready for this fashion/comfort/functional change?

As far as the rest of Moore's fashion choices, David Feherty likened his image to a "thrift store" customer. Starting from the top: A painter's hat, rumpled button shirt, a vest (Huh?), a skinny tie (Huh, Huh?) and Van's. Moore's dress code now matches his swing which he invented during his intergalactic travels between Earth and Mars.

The scoreboard at the FBR looked, for awhile, like a Nationwide Tour event. The eventual winner was wily, 48 year-old veteran, Kenny Perry, who still hits it (left-to-right, mostly) as far as the youngsters. Twenty of us pool players didn't survive the cut. Eleven of us idiots picked the Kentucky homerun hitter, J.B. Holmes, to repeat. He started out fine...5 under for his first nine holes, then proceeded to go 10-over in his next 27 to totally miss the cut by five. So much for our collective wisdom. He was in good company though. The "Homie," Arizona State grad, Philly M., missed the cut too, as did Stuart (The Rotten) Appleby. Amazingly, that left only 3 pool players who made the cut and had a chance to add to their earnings. Best finish goes to newcomer, Charlie Tuna, with his astute selection of Kevin (Sha Na) Na who picked up a chunk of dough as he missed the playoff by one dinky shot. Nice pick Charlie. In hindsight (of course), Charlie's no dummy. The TPC in Scottsdale obviously suits Sha Na Na. He has finished second, third and fourth here over the last five years. "I'm going to win here someday,'' Na said, jaw out. "Next year. I'm going to win here multiple times when my career is over, that's for sure.''

Onward to the "Wood-less" Torrey Pines/Buick. Tiger's won't be at his favorite venue. He's won five of the past six Buick Invitationals. He won last year's event by eight shots and, of course, followed it up later in the year with his historic, one-legged, playoff win over Rocco in the US Open. Seven of youse thought Stewart Cink was going to show up this week. You forgot to check with either his wife, his caddie or his bookie.

WalterGolf

Bob Hope Chrysler Classic

Computer Crash

Date Written: January 26, 2009

I spent the better part of three days crafting this week's column only to be un-done by a computer crash last night that wiped out my work. My loss, your gain, I suppose. I know this crash took place because all the clocks in the house were stuck flashing on 9:36. My in-house computer geisha, Miss Vicki, informs me for the umpteenth time that if I leave any files, "open" and there is a power interruption, that this might happen. She also reminds me that she has told me this many times. So?

I don't have the recall nor the energy to try and re-create the damn thing. But the gist was about veteran Steve Stricker's "GIANT CHOKE" during the last round of The Hope. Not my little "choke" on my computer.

I actually did a bunch of research on the net during the tournament that any sports shrinks would have loved. It started out to be about how we all seem to get scared by having one good round and how difficult it is to follow-up with another good round, ala the eventual winner, Pat "Never Backoff" Perez. The column was really coming together, if I do say so myself. Now it's lost forever. Sob! I can only hope it's spinning somewhere in the cosmos (along with those random socks which keeps disappearing in the clothes dryer) and will magically reappear on my computer, begging to be published. But for now, you'll just have to imagine my sarcasm and advice about staying in the moment when you are about to hit a shot. It was also about being athletic, not telling ourselves bad internal stories, being worthy, dealing with success, etc. All the topics that sports psychologists love to advance.

As far as the pool itself, the best five of us could do this past week was pick D.J. Trahan who finished T-14.

Onward to the tournament (er "Frat Party") in Scottsdale. I count eleven of us who hope the Kentucky long-knocker, J.B. Holmes, repeats. The general public loves Lefty's chances.

The Sony

Seymour, The Jewish Putter

Date Written: January 19, 2009

Calling Zach Johnson's win yesterday at The Sony and his previous T-6 at The Mercedes the week before "solid" is an understatement. He was 30-under for his last six rounds in the Islands. It seemed like he made every putt when it counted. I'm going online as we speak and ordering one of dem dare,"Seymour" putters and add it to my ever-changing, flat-stick rotation. Maybe that's been my problem...I've never tried a Jewish putter. At the end of last year, my putting stroke got so bad, Doyley told me I might as well putt with my eyes closed. Imagine, being able to actually, "See More"...what a concept.

Welcome to the "BIG SHOW," Tyler Aldridge. The Q-School qualifier from Idaho shot 77, 76 to finish dead last in the field of those who played two rounds. In his defense, it takes awhile to become accustomed to new surroundings, especially on the world's biggest golf stage. I'll bet he needed a few tranq's to settle his nerves. Speaking of "dead last"...imagine that adjacent to every great "tour stop" there's a "golf graveyard"...a quiet, hallowed space littered with thousands of slowly decaying corpses of player's who had big dreams that lasted one full season on tour. When those dreams collided head-on with reality...Kaplowie! End of career. Sometimes I think that the trouble with our culture is that when Hollywood and historians feed us too many heroic stories, it causes our individual and collective fuse boxes to blow. But that said, it's what makes the Tadd Fujikawa story so cool. Even though "Mighty Mouse" went from T-6 to T-32 over the final round, he kept his head in the game and garnered some nice compliments from his peers. And, for good measure, he cashed his biggest pro paycheck...almost 30 G's. I say, "Nice goin' Mighty." If John (The Psychic Mess) Daly can get unlimited sponsor exemptions because he appeals to the forgiveness-conscious, addictive population, then surely we ought to be allowed to see the amazingly refreshing "Mighty Mouse" again on TV somewhere soon.

Finally, if The Tour deigns to call the last six tournaments after the Tour Championship, "The Fall Season," I call 3 of the next 4 West Coast tournaments, "The Silly Season." This week's Bob Hope Pro-Am heads the list. At least, the sponsors had the good sense to enlist Arnold Palmer as host. I thought the previous host, George Lopez, was a "shmegege"...for those not familiar with nearly-dead languages, it's a Yiddish word for "fool." The following week, the frat party called the FBR in AZ with the infamous, rowdy 16th hole. We, after that, get the AT&T celebrity bash in Monterey where it seems the spectators are more interested in getting an autograph from a sitcom star than watching a real professional play on some great golf courses. After thoroughly enjoying reading, "The Match," it's a shame that Cypress is not in the course rotation like it used to be during the Bing Crosby years.

Mercedes-Benz

They're Running...

Date Written: January 12, 2009

In horse racing parlance, "The horses are all in the gate... THEY'RE RUNNING!"

Right out of the gate, a horse called, "Ogilvy" made the field look like they were standing still in the first event of the year. He wobbled as he turned for home but then distanced himself from the field by collecting four birdies and an eagle over the homestretch, to win as they say, "handily" by six lengths.

Here's a little something for us form players to consider for next year: It's the middle of Summer in Australia. The Southern Hemisphere players have just concluded a heavy competitive schedule. Their compatriots, the Northern Hemisphere nags, stashed their saddles in their respective barns after the Tour Championship at the end of September. Watching Ogilvy seemingly hit every shot straight over the flag on the roller-coaster course called Kapalua, in hindsight might validate the choice of any "Aussie" or "So. African" next year at this early season event.

The second best headline of the week could have been, "He's Back!" which would apply to Davis Love who tied with Anthony Kim (aka Mr. Belt Buckle) for a nice (T-2) showing. Being healthy for the first time in a couple of years, might mean "Big Love" (not in the Mormon sense) is in for a "Big Season."

As far as our funky pool goes, the best finish was posted by Ms. Jan Jones of Duchin Room fame who picked the walking belt buckle. Nice goin' Jan. Perennial contenders, Art and Pat got off to a nice start...scoring with Big Ernie, (T-6) who could have been a contender except for a dull third round when he couldn't make a putt.

We now island-hop to Oahu for event number two...the Sony. Seven of us like Stricker, and six have pre-voted for "The Tank" (KJ Choi). Mighty Mouse (Tadd Fujikawa) is not in the field. Darn.

Finally, I funny forward from fellow hack, John Manocheo, entitled:

"Will I Live To See 80?"

"After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, my new primary care doctor said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, fishing or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No, " I said.

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you even give a shit?"

The Tour Championship

V for Victory

Date Written: September 29, 2008

From the PGA Tour website yesterday:
"In a four-man race coming to the final holes, Camillo Villegas caught Sergio Garcia with a 7-iron from 184 yards to 12 feet on the 17th, then twice hit beautiful lag putts from 45 feet for par on the 233-yard 18th -- once in regulation to finish at 7-under 273, then in the playoff to win The Tour Championship."

The two V's (Vijay & Villegas) prospered mightily through the Fed-Ex season which is now, thank God (with a big G), over. Each of the V's win a ton of extra dough because "you-know-who" was on the mend at home. Seven under was good enough to playoff this year on the re-designed East Lake track. "You-Know-Who" was twenty three under last year to win the whole shebang. I think the V's should send Tiger 10% of their winnings for not being able to show up and allowing them to cash in.

If you want to read more about Tiger's absence and dwindling TV ratings and "tweaking" the Fed-Ex format, click on Thomas Bonk's article today in the LA Times:

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-spw-golf30-2008sep30,0,1979671.story

With the conclusion of The Tour Championship, we have finished our fantasy pool season. Our three winners will find a chunk of dough in their mailboxes in a couple of days. Lord Arthur of Poppy killed us with his stellar, year-long picks. For his efforts, Lord Arthur takes home roughly 60% of the overall pool money ($2,500.00) for a total of $1,475.00. Second place goes to late charging Perry Sato ($725.00) and third place money to the Boise Flash....Pat Moloney ($300.00). Nice going you guys.

I hope you all enjoyed this past season and my sometimes caustic weekly commentary. It's never too early to start thinking on your picks for next year, at the very least, asking yourselves why you had a bunch of "No-Shows." We should also collectively consider the most controversial element of the pool...awarding double money for the Majors. Tell me via email if you like or dislike that feature and we will act accordingly. First tournament of 2009 will be the Mercedes at Kapalua in early January. Remember, in order to make the field in that first event, your player has to have won a tournament during 2008. I haven't found the official 2009 schedule online yet. There shouldn't be many venue changes (other than the U.S., British and PGA Championships) but the dates will surely be different.

Happy Footballing,

The Deutsche Bank

Vijay 2, Field 0

Date Written: September 2, 2008

Vijay doesn't show much emotion when he's tending to his profession so despite the business-like image to the left, I did actually spot him smiling a couple of times this weekend as he was rolling in long putt after long putt while winning his second straight Schmed-Ex event.

From the PGA Tour website:

"I got on the green and just kept talking to my caddie, 'I'm the best putter in the world,' and he said, 'You're damn right you are, now go ahead and knock it in,' and I made it. That's just a good attitude. Instead of standing there and hoping you're going to get up and down in two, I was trying to make those putts. My unconscious mind had a lot of stored-up bad thoughts in there, and that was the key, to get rid of all that, and I think I've done that,' Singh said."

After Vijay's success with convincing himself that "putting is just attitude," I'm going to do some of the same...tell myself that I'm the best putter in the world. I'll give you a report on how this works after I play in the Idaho State Seniors tournament next week. I'll see if I can fool myself into this major disbelief. Those little putting devils that live in my head are probably laughing their asses off as I write this.

Vijay's made the Schmed-Ex a "done deal" for this year. Short of a miracle, no one can catch him and deny him the 10 million smackers . When the sponsorship renewal hits the negotiating table next year, the PGA and Fed-Ex oughta discuss dumping the whole cockamamie deal. They should come to their senses and realize that their attempt at changing TV viewing habits are too tough to break. There's a reason we like football folks. Beside being a terrific game; it's fall, it's life. You cannot "undo" the magic of the changing seasons.

No one had Vijay this week in our funky pool. Lord Arthur, he of magical picking powers, remains secluded in his lofty, 1.6 million dollar lead with just two events left on our schedule. A question for his Lordship: after you receive the proceeds of first place money, are you going to pay down your credit card debt or are you going to make a dent on your outstanding bar tab? Or, like a good Irishman, give it away to the orphan golfers of County Kerrick?

The Barclays

The First Leg of the Schmed-Ex

Date Written: August 25, 2008
Jason Sobel of espn.com sums up the first week of the Schmed-Ex:

"Up is down. Left is right. In is out. Sergio Garcia and Vijay Singh each made clutch putts under pressure on the first extra hole at The Barclays on Sunday. Welcome to PGA Tour Bizarro World, where the game's most maligned putters each proved their mettle with the flat stick at crunch time during the first FedEx Cup payoffs event.

We're still unsure as to whether these two top talents are consistently inconsistent or inconsistently consistent, but it might be a little of both. Singh's victory on the second playoff hole gave him two wins in the past four weeks -- his first two titles of the season -- sandwiching them around a pair of missed cuts at the PGA and Wyndham. Meanwhile, Garcia continues to pile up runner-up results like Michael Phelps collects gold medals, but he's got to be pleased at ranking first in the field in putting average and second in total putts per round at Ridgewood Country Club."

Couldn't have said it better, Jason. Eleven guys ended up within 2 shots of making the playoff. Pretty good theatre as I fast-forwarded between the thousands of Cialis and Village's commercials to actually see a golf shot.

Congrats to two of our fellow bottom-dwellers, T & A and Doc 'N Jill, for climbing up the standings in our funky pool with their winning pick of V.J. at the Barclay's. Nice goin' kids!

Danny Lee, pictured above. Get used to seeing his face. The young phenom from New Zealand, became the youngest player ever (just over 18 years of age) to win the USGA Amateur Championship which was played at Pinehurst this past week. In the 36- hole final against Drew Kittleson who plays at Florida State, Lee was 11-under for 32 total holes until he won easily, 5 & 4. One of the perks for winning will be to be paired next year at The U.S. Open with one Mr. Tiger Woods. Can you imagine the introduction: "Mr. Woods, shake hands with Mr. Lee, the umpteenth youngster who might succeed you."

To read more about Lee click on the link below:

http://www.usamateur.org/news/sun_lee_final.html

Onward to the second leg of the Schmed-Ex...The Deutsche Bank. Do you think the Germans (along with the Scots, the Chinese, the Saudi's, etc.) want to manage our money? Eight of us (including me, figured that Brett Wetterich would play back to his Deutsche finish of last year. Lo and behold, according to Rotoworld.com, Brett doesn't make the Schmed-Ex field because....

"Brett Wetterich is suffering from tendinitis in his right wrist and has been treating it under doctor's care," his agent, Terry Reilly, said in an email. Wetterich injured his wrist on June 10 while practicing at Torrey Pines and has withdrawn early from all five events since. "We are unsure as to his return," Reilly added. Wetterich did not qualify for the British Open and has committed to next week's concurrent U.S. Bank Championship but that start is in doubt. He's halfway to a minor medical extension (two-month minimum layoff) and will need to make a decision soon if he's going to sit the full four months to qualify for a major medical. That would shelve him through October 1. It's quite possible that the wrist injury will also force a decision to have his shoulder repaired."

Sounds to me like Brett's body parts are going out of warranty. He won over $2 mil in '07 and tied for second at last year's Deutsche. Brett's swing speed has always appeared to me to be way too hard and too fast. A bit of elderly advice to...bring it down a notch pal. When you get older (the only thing I can absolutely guarantee), you'll want to be able to enjoy the game and a cocktail without being in pain.

Wyndham Championship

The Tar Heel State

Date Written: August 18, 2008


One of the biggest intra-state rivalries in collegiate sports takes place within the "Tar Heel State." In Carolina, your blood runs either baby blue or red hot...UNC or NC State. I know what a Wolfpack is (NC State) but I've always wanted to know, what's a "Tar Heel" Do you know? And who's the most famous "Tar Heel Golfer?" I'll provide the answer at the end of this weeks missive. In any event, the Wolfpack prevailed this past weekend at the Wyndham, aka The Greater Greensboro Classic.

If there was ever a case to be made for the gambling theory of, "horses for courses," the Wyndham was it. Swedish-born but locally-raised, Carl Pettersson, who's probably played the course a gazillion times and also played at N.C. State, smoked the field. Transplanted Tim Clark from So. Africa, who also attended N.C. State, finished T-6.

The remarkable news is that seven of our pool players picked Pettersson to win. Not since the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines, where twelve of us picked Tiger in his historic, one-legged win, and the Sony in Hawaii where eight pool players picked K.J. Choi, have we seen as many "winners" in one week. The bad news is that our esteemed pool leader, Lord Arthur of Kerrick was one of the seven Pettersson-pickers. Lord Arthur pads his lead to nearly $1.6 Mil over his next closest competitor, his pal, Perry Sato. Master Sato also had Petterssson to add to his extraordinary late run and has now leapt into second place. Lord Arthur and his trusty crystal ball have now picked four outright winners this season. Go direct to Vegas, Art...don't fool around with the peanuts you are going to win in our funky pool. My horse Mayfair was last seen limping into the barn in last place, apparently all tuckered out from putting on the Donald Ross track. Wavy putting strokes do not work on undulating greens.

Another N.C. transplant, Brandon de Jonge, who was bornded in Zimbabwe, but now calls Charlotte home, won the Nationwide event in Rochester, NY. Which brings me to hokey song:

"Nothing Could be Finer
Than the Golf in Caroliner
...in Au-August?"

Onward to the first leg of the SCHMED-EX Cup, starting at the Barclays at a storied venue, Ridgewood C.C., across the river in Paramus, NJ. I blatantly make fun of the "Schmed-Ex" format because, in a word...it's sooo STUPID! Most of you know from my comments last year that I hate the contrived points system. It smacks too much of NASCAR commercialism. Aren't there enough commercials between shots on TV? I once counted two putts and then five commercials. And what about the phony, re-set point system? Would someone write and explain that concept to this witless reporter? If you're having trouble too and don't understand, let's start a letter-writing campaign to our Congressmen! At the very least, do as I do, set your TIVO to fast-forward through the Schmed-Ex commercials. Even though they are funny, they do not deserve our patronage. Ship UPS or DHL.

Finally, from our very own, "Diamond Jim Brady" comes an interesting LA Times article linking sex with good health: Dah!

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-mating18-2008aug18,0,4651977.story

I would have added that five rounds of golf a week is good for the "unit" too!

In answer to the question posed in the first paragraph, what is a "Tar Heel" click on the "Ask Yahoo" link below. And, the most famous Tar Heel Golfer...Davis Love, of course, who also has a second home here in Sun Valley. Maybe Davis will join our pool next year and try his hand at de-throning Lord Arthur?

http://ask.yahoo.com/20040316.html

The PGA

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

Date Written: August 11, 2008

"Hear Ye, Hear Ye!" All those who thought Padraig of Harrington was not for real, raise your hand? Paddy has a new mission: he has to hire a finished carpenter to build more cabinetry in his den. Where else to place his new PGA Wanamaker trophy to rest aside his back-to-back Claret Jugs.

Some commentator, somewhere, suggested that there be an asterisk (*) by the name of any major winner if Tiger was not in the field. I don't think so. Winning three majors in a little over one year certainly qualifies Paddy to stand alone as Tiger's "prime contender." Step aside Lefty, Veej, Jimmy Furyk, and any other "wanna-be." Paddy's matching 4-under-par 66's over the final two rounds on the Oakland Hills monster removes any doubt that he's the world's second best player. There's even speculation amongst the media of the possibility of "The Paddy-Slam." The next leg being the '09 Masters. Tiger's return to Major competition and Paddy's emergence will surely be the story next April. Paddy can obviously can handle pressure. His putting down the stretch yesterday at Oakland Hills was the stuff of dreams. The following his from his own lips:

"I know I love the idea of the back nine of a major on a Sunday. I love it so much that I'm actually disappointed I'm seven months away from the next major, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I've really focused hard on the majors the last two years. My whole schedule is built around majors. And definitely I've turned up at other events, and unless I get into contention, you know, sometimes it feels like a race, like a sprint, whereas a major feels like a marathon. I feel like I can be patient and take my time. And I love the feeling of knowing that it's going to come down to the back nine; it's going to come down to who can do it under pressure in the last nine holes."

Our very own black Irishman, Lord Arthur of Kerrick, was sweating bullets over the weekend because his horse, Vijay, was last seen stumbling at the halfway mark. On his way to 5-putting one green and failing to make the cut, The Veej was last seen muttering to himself as he slammed his left-hand-low, belly putter into the trunk of his expensive rental car. You can breathe now Lord Arthur, your lead is still intact. Now that "double-payoff" Majors are out of the way, your chances down the stretch appear fairly solid to garner substantial, first place pool money.

Booby Prize poem:

Doc 'N Jill
Ran up a hill
trying to avoid disaster

When they came down
Their Sergio did frown
to have to kiss Paddy's aster...again.

Doc N' Jill make enough "double-money" on Sergio to climb out of the Pool basement, leaving Matt Kendrick alone, looking up. Perry Sato also had Sergio and makes a giant leap from 10th to 4th. That is huge at this late stage of the game!

Speaking of Booby Prizes, anyone remember the Cropper Bros. from years past? They decided to sit out this year, restore their collective egos and try to figure out a better approach to picking guys who will just show-up for a tournament, let alone make the cut. I miss the Cropper's and their wild-ass, off-the-wall picks. Remember the famous cowboy movie in the 50's, "Shane?" The famous line at the end was, "Come back, Shane!" I'm gonna change it to, "Come back, Croppers," if only for the laughs.


And finally, a forwarding laugh from John Manocheo entitled:

When your ball ends up in the 3" rough, here's the club for you!
http://www.bigdaddydriver.com/see-the-video.aspx