The HP Byron Nelson

The Big "C"

Date Written: May 25, 2009

The big story this week in the sporting world was the heartbreaking news that Amy Mickelson has breast cancer. In a way, it's sad that celebrities get emotional headlines while our lowly family members, who suffer this dreadful disease by the millions, go un-recognized. If only Aunt Melinda was as photogenic and lucky to be married to one of the worlds best golfers? So much for our pop-idol culture. Look for Amy's image to be featured at the magazine rack at your local supermarket check out aisle.

Melanie Hauser, PGATour.com correspondent wrote:

In a touching scene, Winner, Rory Sabbatini, wore a pink shirt Sunday in honor of Amy Mickelson's battle with breast cancer and a good friend who's undergoing can treatment. Rory and his Amy stayed up last night making ribbons for players and spectators to wear. Sabbatini's friend, Bill Huseby, is battling Hodgkins lymphoma. Sabbatini hadn't seen him in nearly a year when Huseby came to the Masters. "He looks about 85 years old and pretty much skin and bones,'' Sabbatini said, wiping away the tears and trying to compose himself. "It really puts everything else that we do out here into perspective,'' he finally said. "It's tough. You know it's tough to see someone going through that. You know, that's why when you think about Phil and Amy Mickelson going through, what they're going through." The Sabbatini's have been in touch with Huseby -- he helped introduce the couple -- via text messages over the last few weeks and have convinced him to move to Houston to undergo treatment at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. "I just really hope and pray my buddy pulls through,'' Sabbatini said.

Sabo's game was certainly "in-the-pink," pun intended. He seemed to "gear down" a bit off his typical swing speed and his putting stroke was out of this world. A final round 64 (with a bogey on the last hole, no less) capped off a tournament record 19-under par.

All in all, the effort of the Sabbatini's to call attention to The BIG "C" perhaps took the sting out of some of the bad publicity he's gotten in the recent past. Remember the Ben Crane "slow play" affaire and unexplained WD from Tiger's Target Tourney?

Regular PGA Tour journeyman, Michael Allen, needed a special invitation from the PGA of America to get into the Senior PGA Championship because he had no status on the Champions Tour -- he's still fully exempt on the PGA Tour. Allen showed the invite was deserving as his winning score of 6-under 274 was one of only three under par and won the prestigious event at Canterbury in Cleveland. Allen has been winless for twenty years and he's probably best known for attending Q-School, thirteen times and holding the remarkable record for the most times to successfully make it....seven. "I always thought I was good enough to win," he said. "It has been a struggle, but it's a struggle I enjoy every day."

Therein lays the difference between Allen and most of us mortals. Beyond his superior athletic skills, I think the struggle to compete week in and week out at such a high level is too hard for most mortals. To keep going, year after year, with nary a sniff at a win, let alone some real cash, is either true delusion or belief. Ah, to be just turning fifty and looking forward---as someone on TV said---to being on a first name basis with your bank manager.

Update from last week: Shane Lowry, who won last week's Irish Open as an amateur turned pro last Thursday and will be playing for money this coming week at the European Open.

Mostly No-Shows and Missed-Cuts this week so no movement to report in our funky pool. The best any of us could do was a T-16 with either Justin Leonard or "Veej." The "Texas Swing" continues with The Crowne Plaza event in Fort Worth this week where Amy's husband, Phil, would have been defending champion.

Overheard from the TV tower; there's been some course changes on the venerable Colonial layout. We'll see if it's still "short-knockers" heaven. A course that only Corey Pavin and Scott Verplank could love. Four of us love Rod Pampling, four dig T. Clark and three like Stephan Ames off last year's good finish here.

Valero Texas Open

Beat Your Boss

Date Written: May 18, 2009

Six pool players picked Zach Johnson to win this past week at The Valero Texas Open and struck gold. I can't remember as many winners since a couple of years ago when a bunch of us picked V.J. to win The Mercedes and he did. Three rookies in this here pool are now leading the pack. The Muffins, have taken over the top spot, Bill Sundali slides neatly into second place, just ahead of Tobacco Road who held the lead for quite a few weeks but had a No-Show with DL III. The Muffins and Sundali have now picked the winner of an individual event TWICE. Personally, I haven't sniffed a win since 'ought 8'. I wouldn't know what it smelled like. Those of you who had Justin Leonard or Stephen Ames must have been heartbroken down the stretch at La Cantera Golf Club in San Antonio where they played the Valero. They each had their chances to win. No one, of course, picked Paul Goydos who bogeyed the last two holes to miss the playoff between Zachie and youngster, James Driscoll, by a shot.

Excerpted from Brian Wacker, PGATour.com site producer:

Lance Ten Broeck, Jesper Parnevik's caddie, but a pro in his own right, got word that he would be filling in as an alternate for ailing David Berganio, Jr. So, after caddying for Jesper in the morning in Texas, he played in the tournament itself in the afternoon. One problem. Actually, two. Ten Broeck didn't have his clubs with him. He didn't even have a pair of pants. And he wasn't about to borrow his boss' -- clubs or pants, that is -- so he drove to a nearby Dillards at the Shops at LaCantera, where he bought a pair of pants. He also secured a set of clubs from Richard S. Johnson, a putter from Tag Ridings and a pair of shoes from David Duval. He just missed the cut in Texas with borrowed clubs and clothes when asked to fill-in.

If you want to read a more complete version of, "Beat Your Boss" click below:

http://www.pgatour.com/2009/r/05/18/lance.parnevik/index.html

A few other golf news events this week:

PGA Champion and TV analyst Bob Rosburg. passed away. If you are as old as I am, you will remember his dippy, short backswing and terrific ability to get up and down. For years, "Rossie" was the "on course" recognizable voice on ABC golf telecasts.

Aussie, Michael Sim, won for the second time on The Nationwide Tour in less than a month. Three wins in a Nationwide season gets one a "battlefield promotion"...an automatic pass onto the BIG tour. And add another name to add to your memory bank: Some writer said a star was born when local Irish hero,

Shane Lowry, became just the third amateur to win on The European Tour - at The Irish Open on the third extra hole in miserable weather.

Adam Scott has been playing like a dog, and six of you have him this week at the Byron Nelson. I'll just say good luck!

Finally, Charlie Tuna sends along a remarkable YouTube of Fred Astaire tap dancing and hitting golf balls at the same time. You've got to see his remarkable timing:

http://www.stracka.com/golf-blogs/blogs_post.asp?id=3357105

The Player's Championship

Flawless

Date Written: May 12, 2009

I had this week's column all but written in my mind by the end of the third round on Saturday night. It was going to be about Alex Cejka's unbelievable 10-shot victory at The Player's. Normally, I start thinking about what I'm going to write before the weekend and jot down a few notes so I won't forget where I'm going. This week I didn't think I would have to change much because "Cejka-Slovakia" had a five stroke lead going into the last round. The theme for this week was going to be how someone ranked 267th in the world, playing one of the fastest, most difficult courses ever devised, against the best field assembled all year, could win so easily. Chejka had started Tour events 195 times without a victory. The way he was hitting fairways and knocking down putts, I'm thinking beta-blockers. On a more sober note, I'm also thinking to include some dialogue about how his victory might reinforce the theory that there are about a thousands players with a decent-enough game, who can win on the tour on any given week. Well, like all best-laid-plans, I had to trash my notes. It didn't take long into the last round for Cejka to unravel. He played back to his also-ran form and ranking with a last round 79...13 shots worse than the ultimate winner, Henrik Stenson. Imagine the peloton in cycling roaring by him like he was standing still or Wily Coyote getting flattened by a falling boulder.

Ian (The Fashion Plate) Poulter was prescient on Saturday when he suggested in a post game interview:

"It's going to be a difficult day for Alex on Sunday. He's playing with Tiger. He's got a five-shot lead. He's going to be having dinner tonight thinking 11 under par should be good enough."

Stenson lapped the field with a bogey-free, diamond-like, flawless performance that will surely rank as one of the best rounds on tour this year. When asked at the end of the round if he felt as if he had played a different golf course than the rest of the field, Stenson replied: "No, it was still Sawgrass, I promise you." If the golf course wasn't different, his game was certainly different...different substantially than all his peers.

In our funky pool, Pat Moloney and Doug B. won a pile of dough in the huge $9.5 mil purse for their astute pick of Stenson. Pat jumps all the way from tenth to second and Doug B. into sixth. Nice go'n guys. Vijay's final round 67 (T-9), allows Tobacco Road to keep his lead as we pass the halfway point in the season.

The Quail Hollow Championship

The Capitalist Open

Date Written: May 4, 2009

The tournament fka (formerly known as) The Wachovia, was a doozy this past week. A great field, a terrific course with slick, sloping greens that scared the Bee-Jesus out of the players and a stretch of holes at the end that demanded consummate precision. Thirteen guys were within four shots going into the last round, including God hisself.

Bob Harig of ESPN.com summed up Sean O'Hair's victory best. Click on the link below for an interesting take. Y'awl remember Sean's 5-shot lead collapse at Bay Hill in late-March?

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/columns/story?columnist=harig_bob&id=4130841

In our funky pool, the best anyone could do was Bob Bruce and Corn Beef Taco's pick of Jim Furyk for a T-11. Eight of youse had Benny (The Jet) Curtis (T-32) who didn't play back to last year's runner-up finish. Onward to the fifth major...The Player's...this week at TPC Sawgrass where just about everyone on the planet will watch the car wreck known as the 17th hole. Five of us like Sergio to repeat this week and there's only one no-show...Olazabal (John Flynt).

What would this column be if I couldn't make my weekly social rant? The former title sponsor, Wachovia Bank, crashed and burned as the fifth largest financial institution late last year and got swallowed up by Wells Fargo Bank. Wachovia's super-aggressive, go-go, decision-makers were a bunch of real lulus. No financial endeavor they concocted was without a unique profit angle or a wicked tax advantage. Given the backdrop of the seizure that took place here in Ketchum this week of the F.B.I. (First Bank of Idaho), I've been reading up on the on-going bank debacle, which like a giant ball of yarn, is destined to unravel even further. For now, Wachovia wins the award as being the biggest bank miscreant thus far. It's successor, Wells, has been reported by the Associated Press along with the banking behemoths, Bank of America and Citibank, as not being able to pass the government's "financial stress test" to see if they are truly solvent. Are all our banks near bankruptcy? Should you "short" their stock that you hold in your IRA....take out your deposits? The PGA Tour's marketing department scrambled to change the name of the Wachovia tournament to "The Quail Hollow Championship" which doesn't say much to the corporate world. I suppose they'll have to look for a different title sponsor next year. Maybe they'll end up calling the event the "Chapter 11 Championship" or the "FDIC Open"?

Click on the link below to read more about Wachovia:

http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/business/companies/wachovia_corporation/index.html?scp=1-spot&sq=wachovia&st=cse

This whole banking debacle reminds me of the Enron scandal of 2001. If you have some extra time, "Netflix" the documentary, "Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room," or read the book of the same title. If there is an annual award for corporate skullduggery, the two key executives of Enron, Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling, would win hands-down. They served up the most remarkable heavy topping of creamy bullshit that all but two little ladies, one of the press (Fortune) and one honest corporate underling. In the end, their proclamations were truly pitiful. But reserve your true pity for the poor employees who had their retirement invested in Enron stock, while Kenny-boy and little-Jeffrey cashed in their stock before the collapse of their worthless company. It's ironic and almost laughable that less than 10 years later, the under-regulated Wall Street boys (who add zilch to the actual, real economy) invented some new instruments called credit default swaps and derivatives which will ultimately end up costing our children about 4 trillion taxpayer dollars.

While on the topic of crooks, for good measure you can throw into my new book, "The Pantheon of Pricks," that good old-fashioned Ponzi-schemer, Bernard Madoff (ironic that his name is pronounced "Made-Off"), who bilked hundreds out of billions while our government regulators, the SEC, fiddled. The message: Don't trust ANYONE...especially large financial institutions, accountants, investment advisors and certainly not your government. I don't! I think it will take at least a generation to regain the trust of our institutions. For now, just put your money in your mattress.

Finally, on a lighter note: Because golf is such a wonderful metaphor and distraction....the following is from a David Brooks' column in the NY Times on May Day:

"The key factor separating geniuses from the merely accomplished is not a divine spark. It's not I.Q., a generally bad predictor of success, even in realms like chess. Instead, it's deliberate practice. Top performers spend more hours (many more hours) rigorously practicing their craft."

If you're not worn out from too much reading, click on the link below to read the full context of Mr. Brooks' comments:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/01/opinion/01brooks.html?em

Now I'm truly worn out but I feel better. Writing is good therapy.