Zurich Classic

Voodoo Time

Date Written: March 31, 2008

Artie, Lutzie, Mikey P. and Pat M. were about to make a ton of money on Woody Austin at the Zurich Classic. This caused for some creative thinking at this end because there was too much money at stake for us also-rans in the pool. I sprang into action.

I put the TV on pause and went to find Maudie, my trusted "Nawlins" voodoo doll. I found her buried deep in a hallway closet, resting upside down in her miniature pine coffin. I pryed open the coffin and found the long straight pins that allow her to do her long-distance magic. I returned to my easy chair and re-started the telecast. I waved "Maudie" three times in front of Woody Austin who was on the eighteenth tee and stuck four pins in crucial locations in her body that have long been known by voodoo experts to cause erratic behavior. May God forgive me but I had to do this.

"Woodhead," probably had no idea of the power of voodoo. He promptly though proceeded to totally butcher the tough par five. He hit one shot out of the rough a grand total of about twenty yards and then dunked his next shot in the water. It ultimately cost him and the four of you who picked him, a ton of money. I felt bad but I felt good. If "Woodhead" makes par on eighteen, y'all win about half a mil. If he makes birdie, you tie for the lead and go into a playoff with Andres Romero to potentially win over a mil. As it turns out, you end up sharing fourth place which is worth about a quarter mil. Now that ain't bad but ain't great. If you happen to run into "Woodhead" (aka Aquaman), don't tell him what I did. He thinks he just "choked his guts out." He has no idea of the power of Maudie. Worst of all for Pat M., he cost him the lead in our pool. Man! It's hard work keeping the leaders in sight.

In a more earthly comment after the telecast, David Cropper, former pool player and 2-handicapper, wondered why Woodhead just didn't hit a three wood off the tee, hit his second shot to wedge distance and maybe make a short putt to send the game into extra innings. We'll never know....but Maudie do.

I count nine Appleby aficionados, three Scott's and three Bubba's as the favorite picks among the faithful this coming week at the Shell in Houston. The Master's, double money and great theatre in less than two weeks.