The Sony

Seymour, The Jewish Putter

Date Written: January 19, 2009

Calling Zach Johnson's win yesterday at The Sony and his previous T-6 at The Mercedes the week before "solid" is an understatement. He was 30-under for his last six rounds in the Islands. It seemed like he made every putt when it counted. I'm going online as we speak and ordering one of dem dare,"Seymour" putters and add it to my ever-changing, flat-stick rotation. Maybe that's been my problem...I've never tried a Jewish putter. At the end of last year, my putting stroke got so bad, Doyley told me I might as well putt with my eyes closed. Imagine, being able to actually, "See More"...what a concept.

Welcome to the "BIG SHOW," Tyler Aldridge. The Q-School qualifier from Idaho shot 77, 76 to finish dead last in the field of those who played two rounds. In his defense, it takes awhile to become accustomed to new surroundings, especially on the world's biggest golf stage. I'll bet he needed a few tranq's to settle his nerves. Speaking of "dead last"...imagine that adjacent to every great "tour stop" there's a "golf graveyard"...a quiet, hallowed space littered with thousands of slowly decaying corpses of player's who had big dreams that lasted one full season on tour. When those dreams collided head-on with reality...Kaplowie! End of career. Sometimes I think that the trouble with our culture is that when Hollywood and historians feed us too many heroic stories, it causes our individual and collective fuse boxes to blow. But that said, it's what makes the Tadd Fujikawa story so cool. Even though "Mighty Mouse" went from T-6 to T-32 over the final round, he kept his head in the game and garnered some nice compliments from his peers. And, for good measure, he cashed his biggest pro paycheck...almost 30 G's. I say, "Nice goin' Mighty." If John (The Psychic Mess) Daly can get unlimited sponsor exemptions because he appeals to the forgiveness-conscious, addictive population, then surely we ought to be allowed to see the amazingly refreshing "Mighty Mouse" again on TV somewhere soon.

Finally, if The Tour deigns to call the last six tournaments after the Tour Championship, "The Fall Season," I call 3 of the next 4 West Coast tournaments, "The Silly Season." This week's Bob Hope Pro-Am heads the list. At least, the sponsors had the good sense to enlist Arnold Palmer as host. I thought the previous host, George Lopez, was a "shmegege"...for those not familiar with nearly-dead languages, it's a Yiddish word for "fool." The following week, the frat party called the FBR in AZ with the infamous, rowdy 16th hole. We, after that, get the AT&T celebrity bash in Monterey where it seems the spectators are more interested in getting an autograph from a sitcom star than watching a real professional play on some great golf courses. After thoroughly enjoying reading, "The Match," it's a shame that Cypress is not in the course rotation like it used to be during the Bing Crosby years.