Date Written: March 9, 2009
From the Champions Tour website:Jim Colbert, who turns 68 on Monday, hobbled through a five-under-par 66 Friday in the first round of the Toshiba Classic at the Newport Beach Country Club.
Give Colbert his due. Shooting one's age is a feat all of us geezers yearn to accomplish. But in a post-round interview, Jim offered the following statement which might qualify for inclusion in my next book, "Athletes Say the Dumbest Things:" Colbert said, "I'm nearly three inches shorter than I once was thanks to three knee surgeries."
WHAT? Does Jim suggest that we are all destined to "shrink" to the dwarf-like size of Billy Barty? That's Billy in the doctored "Miss Vicki" photo above. Who is he you ask? Click on the following link below to tweak your memory:
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy Barty)
Years ago I saw Billy play in the pro-am part of the LA Open and I was amazed at his golfing skills. He had the tiniest little clubs and bag, didn't hit it very far, but he could clearly play and enjoyed himself as any actor would in front of a big audience.
But back to the point at hand. I never knew that our "shrinkage" can be jumpstarted from joint surgeries. I've had four knee operations over the course of my lifetime, plus a knee and hip replaced. My driver's license says I'm 5'7". Does this mean that I'm really only 5'2"? This might explain a whole lot more than my lack of athletic talent. In my shopping dreams, I've always wanted to be able to buy pants off-the-shelf. Most pants come with inseams at 32 inches and I always end up paying extra for them to be tailored to my short-waisted dimensions. Just the other day, I paid $20.00 each to alter three pair of cheap pants. Anyone out there know of a surgical procedue to get to my dream height of 6'2"? In the meantime, should I consider buying shorter clubs? At the very least, I'm seriously thinking of re-gripping about half-way down the shaft and "choking-up" a bit, ala A.K. or Briny B. in order to make better contact. I can't wait 'til the snow melts to try out all the possibilities for my new "real" stature.
In our trusty pool, three players had a chance on the last day of The Honda with Robert Allenby near the lead. Alas and alack, Allenby disappointed with a T-5 showing but still allowed The Muffins to slip into second place. Nearly unknown, Y. E. Yang, held on to win his first ever, PGA event. For those that care, he qualified for the BIG SHOW at Q-School. Very impressive! Might we have witnessed the next, great, male Korean golfer to join K.J. "The Tank" Choi in the top tier of worldwide players? Personally, in my next life, I want to be reincarnated as a young, Korean woman golfer. In case you hadn't noticed, they "populate" the LPGA leader board every week. What's in their diet over there?
Overshadowing The Honda tournament was the prospect of Tiger deciding to appear at Doral this coming week in the WGC/CA Championship. Woods has not finished out of the top 10 in his six appearances at Doral. He won for three straight years (2005-07), the last victory when it became a World Golf Championships event. Naturally, none of us could have forseen his return this early in the year. He's obviously the odds-on favorite to win on The Blue Monster. Four of us have Villegas, four have picked Match Play champ, Geoff Ogilvy, and three of us have "The Goose." NO no-shows this week, which says something about our collective wisdom.
In our trusty pool, three players had a chance on the last day of The Honda with Robert Allenby near the lead. Alas and alack, Allenby disappointed with a T-5 showing but still allowed The Muffins to slip into second place. Nearly unknown, Y. E. Yang, held on to win his first ever, PGA event. For those that care, he qualified for the BIG SHOW at Q-School. Very impressive! Might we have witnessed the next, great, male Korean golfer to join K.J. "The Tank" Choi in the top tier of worldwide players? Personally, in my next life, I want to be reincarnated as a young, Korean woman golfer. In case you hadn't noticed, they "populate" the LPGA leader board every week. What's in their diet over there?
Overshadowing The Honda tournament was the prospect of Tiger deciding to appear at Doral this coming week in the WGC/CA Championship. Woods has not finished out of the top 10 in his six appearances at Doral. He won for three straight years (2005-07), the last victory when it became a World Golf Championships event. Naturally, none of us could have forseen his return this early in the year. He's obviously the odds-on favorite to win on The Blue Monster. Four of us have Villegas, four have picked Match Play champ, Geoff Ogilvy, and three of us have "The Goose." NO no-shows this week, which says something about our collective wisdom.
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