Date Written: January 28, 2008
A pine is a coniferous tree in the genus Pinus, in the family Pinaceae. They make up the monotypic subfamily Pinoideae. There are about 115 species of pine. For all you arborists out there, click on the link below if you want to know more about the, "Torrey Pine."
http://www.torreypine.org/parks/torrey-pine.html
What does all this pine tree shit have to do with golf? Well...all the superlatives in the English language have been exhausted in praise of Tiger's golf game, so I thought that rather than lob my verbal golf balls over your head this week, I would practice my metaphors on you. So...let's talk trees. They're big, they're different, they're solid, they provide shade and sometimes fruit, they live a long time, they're beautiful, they provide us with a building material called WOOD...get it? There's even a specie of maple called, "Tiger" which is prized for its exotic appearance. Tiger Maple is used frequently in the manufacturing of musical instruments, such as violins, and fine furniture. How am I doing? At the very least, I'll bet you'll never forget why they put that name on the golf course.
O.K., O.K., I know when to quit. Back to golf. For all those who have been out of the country for the last two years, Tiger's now won 16 times in his last 32 starts. To make matters worse for his competition, during a taped interview he suggested that winning the four majors this year is "doable." DOABLE? And he said, "I'm getting better." GETTING BETTER! Jesus! Mr. Faldo chimed in and suggested that even "His Majesty's" game suits all the major venues this year, (Augusta, Royal Birkdale and Oakland Hills.) So...it's not too bold to think he might win them all. That leaves only the U.S. Open which will be played at...duh...Torrey Pines!
The bad news for us fantasy pool players is that the house dago, John Manocheo, has picked two winners in the first four tournaments. WOW!
The good news is that John has blown his "Tiger-bullet." There's a bunch of us who picked Tiger to win the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines come Father's Day, who will hopefully reap a double payoff. Don't get discouraged if you are trailing in the pool thus far. Remember Woody/Doyle started out real fast last year, only to end up in the middle of the pack at the end. The message is that four tournaments do not a season make. There's lots of golf to play, so no need to get too "down"...just yet. At least that's my rationale for starting out like a dog.
None of us picked any of the MDF's at Torrey which limited the field a bit. Some players (JD of course, who doesn't open his mail and is too hung-over on meeting days to pay attention) were heard grumbling about the new rule. Tiger suggested that his colleagues should play BETTER instead of complaining about the cutline. DOUBLE OUCH!
Tiger's skipping the frat party in Arizona known as the FBR and going half-way around the world to play in Dubai this coming week. He's doing this so that someone...anyone...can win a tournament and fill out the field in next year's Mercedes. Rumor has it that his appearance fee is more than the prize money.
A rarity in golf pool annals, there are NO, No-Shows this week. Hopefully, instead of talking about trees next week, I might be able to ruminate about a golf tournament where the conclusion is not foregone because Tiger's in the field. Tiger's no schedule dummy either. He'll obviously skip the AT&T Pro-Am at Pebble the following week. Why would he want to play with mortals? For that matter, there aren't any Gods who can keep up either. I'm going to dash off an email to the PGA Tour after I finish this rant and suggest that there ought to be a handicap tournament on the pro schedule where Tiger gives strokes to his peers. Would two shots a round be fair?
Finally, Idaho's own, young Tyler Aldridge, made the cut on the number and made money in the first Nationwide event of the year which was held in Panama. It's fun to root for any hometown kid.
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