Written: January 22, 2007
First of all, a GIANT disclaimer. I am not a fan of celebrity golf tournaments. If I want to watch someone who can't play golf, I can do that by playing with the guests most any day at home during the season at the Sun Valley Resort Course. Second of all, I am getting old. If I don't have any idea who the current pop culture icons are, I'm nearing the end of my time in this realm. I didn't know (until I saw "Dreamgirls" last week) who "Beyonce" was. And now I'm wondering, "Who the #uck is George Lopez?" Third...and most importantly, when did "Pork Pie" hats become a fashion statement on a golf course? I thought that only musicians were dumb enough to wear these dopey hats. I am going to call the fashion police. It seemed like every third celebrity wore one. Whenever I spotted one, I triple-fast-forwarded my TIVO to a commercial...just to get some eyeball relief.
Now...can anyone out there tell me what George Lopez' talents are? His loutish, argyle sweater outfits, retro shoes and choice of "hey....look-at-me headwear" matched his overdone pratfalls and his gaping, "find-the-camera" personality. Constantly pretending to shadow box with his pal, Oscar de la Hoya, got real old, real fast. As did his constant strutting and winking into the camera. I have always maintained to, "NEVER TRUST ANYONE WHO WINKS AT ME." How much, do you think, George paid to be the title "face" of the Bob Hope/Chrysler Classic? If you tell me he's the comedian of our time, I'm checking out immediately. Finally, I hope Nick Faldo's analysis of his dippy swing doesn't become an annual TV event. Gimmee real golf, played by real professionals. By the way, what other professional sport "allows" celebrities on the same playing field? I would like to see Mr. Funny Hat mix it up with Brian Urlacher or Ray Lewis. Basta (enough) Lopez!
The fifth round of the "Pork Pie Open" was played at the almost new, desert venue, The Classic Club. Pant-slapping winds gusted to 40 MPH and it came down to a battle of luck and wits and some last hole heroics. It's always fun to watch the pro's struggle in adverse conditions...just like us aging mortals. Bogey on some holes was not a bad score. Anyone who has driven from L.A. to Palm Springs knows that this section of Hwy 10 is filled with thousands of wind turbines that were obviously working overtime on Sunday. The average score for the field on Sunday was almost 75. "Lefty" fired a nifty 78 and 4th round co-leader, Lucas Glover, an 80. Charley Hoffman went birdie/eagle to finish regulation and then birdied the first extra hole to win over John Rollins. It was Justin Rose's tournament to lose and he did...firing a windblown 76. Our Pat Moloney had to live through five days with "his" J. Rose on the lead, only to see him struggle at the end. Jeff Quinney hit a hard 4-iron into the wind and into the hole on the 180 yard 17th to get him back in the hunt. Needless to say, a perfect shot and a nice payday for the Nationwide grad and former U.S. Amateur champ who is now a rookie at "The Big Show".
Onward to Torrey and pregnant Tiger's first appearance of the year. Our new money leaders, the elder team of Woody/Doyle, think he'll prevail. They must have known that Tiger has a contractual obligation to appear at all Buick-sponsored events. We'll get to see how rusty he is after spending months in bed with his beautiful bride, trying to make the most beautiful baby of our time. Think they'll name it, "Cubby?"
Five of us (including me) picked the hometown favorite...he of left-handed fame, who has bought a new body and a fresh commitment to hit it straight off the tee. Four of youse like Sergio. Will anyone ever forget Lefty's famous tent shot at the 18th at Winged Foot or the fact that Lefty hit only two of fourteen fairways on the last day of the Open? Not me!
Ciao Porkers!
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