Nissan (LA) Open

Charlie "Three-Sticks” (III) and a Car

Written: February 19, 2007

The Donald (Herron, that is) must have been blowing chunks yesterday afternoon, rooting for his pick, Charlie "Three-Sticks", as he played off for the LA Open title. Charlie appeased the chipping devil (remember the little skulled chip on the last
hole in Hawaii that cost him the tournament?) by getting up and down 4 straight times beginning on the 72nd hole to deny Big Lefty a second win in a row. It was Lefty's to lose and he did...missing 2 short putts on the back nine Sunday and bogeying the 18th to let Charlie in a playoff. Before yesterday, Charles had finished 2nd, 10 times since his only win on tour over 4 years ago. The media has taken to call him, "Charles Howell, II." No More! It was a great tournament to watch, but then again, aren't they all? Today we have a new pool leader. Congratulations Donald...for the moment. Marvelous pick!

On Saturday, The Beemer wins a new "Z" by one-hopping a seven iron into hole #14 at "The Riv." To see The Beemer "sprawled-out" on the top of the car made the folks at Nissan very happy. Methinks that we haven't seen the end of that gesture.....it'll probably be incorporated in their commercials for years to come. Beemer's no dummy. Retief (The Stoic) Goosen's hole-in-one on #16 Friday got him a high-five from his playing partners and zilch. I've had a handful of holes-in-one in my less-than-illustrious career and I've never won so much as a candy bar.

In deference to all the crashes at Daytona yesterday, here's another car wreck report: At the Nationwide event in Adelaide, Australia, American Chris Nallen was in the hunt on the last day until he suffered a disastrous 10 on the par-4 8th hole. Nallen was 8-under and among the leaders when he missed the green with his second shot. The former University of Arizona star took four chips to get on the green. During one of his shots, he moved a rope that was in the path of the ball as it rolled back towards him and was assessed a two-stroke penalty. I've done that. Little- known American mini-tour veteran, Scott Sterling, won the event with a par on the 72nd hole, over another unknown, 21 year old, David Lutterus, who was playing on his home course on a sponsor's exemption.

This coming week's gonna be double fun. We got the match play event in Tucson which starts on Wednesday. That field includes the top 64 in world rankings in a seeded format. And this is one of the few weeks during the season that there is a companion tournament for "lessor-than's." And they ain't playing for peanuts in Mexico....the purse is $3.5 mil. Art points out that only 5 of us in the pool had the pure luck to pick horses who made plans to fly to Cancun. Four of youse, thinking Camilo Villegas would attend so he could practice his native Spanish, will be disappointed by his No-Show in Mexico. I'm told by reliable sources that the tournament dates conflicted with his need to make a drug delivery to his associates in Columbia. John Daly (who's all puffed up these days anyway), signed on to be his body guard and has been practicing swallowing kilo-size, plastic baggies during the off-season.

From the LA Times on Saturday:
Anthony Kim looked as if he had dressed in the dark Saturday, playing the third round wearing one black shoe and one white shoe. "I had to make myself stand out because my golf game wasn't doing it," said Kim, 21, who shot even-par 71 and was tied for 46th at one under after two rounds.

Kim's odd fashion statement must have paid off because on Sunday he shot 64 to finish tied for ninth. I'm gonna email Kim a suggestion that he wear his underwear on his head this coming week because I got him in Cancun.

There are umpteen reasons to watch all golf telecasts on TIVO, but here's another one: I can triple fast forward through ALL of Peter Kostis' incomprehensible "BizHub Swing Vision" analysis. I swear I have yet to understand any of them. After enduring Kostis' swing breakdowns and the constant metaphoric blathering of Gary McCord, I can't wait to watch the Cartoon Network all day tomorrow...if only for a reality check.